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After a 20-minute training class, freshly minted segway experts depart daily in groups of two to six, leaving the Channelside entertainment district at 10:30 a.m., 12:30 p.m., or 5:30 p.m. Seglegs glide past the St. Pete Times Forum on the way to the Tampa Riverwalk project, a scenic stretch where Tampa Bay merges with the Hillsborough River. Intrepid explorers then take a shortcut through the convention center, breezing down Bayshore Boulevard on a nice and smooth stretch of sidewalk devoid of crevice-dwelling thugs waiting to break the backs of unsuspecting mothers. While cruising down the boulevard, mobile eyes catch glimpses of historic gems, such as the Gasparilla pirate ship and the Davis Islands, where segways were just recently exonerated on witchcraft charges. While taking in the architectural intricacies of celebrities’ homes, cruisers can catch panoramic vistas of Tampa’s downtown area and Harbour Island before rolling back to Channelside to conclude the tour.

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